Long ago I realized that I like so many others had a false image of my body. This happened when I was looking at old photographs of my children. I was in many of the photographs and can remember quite well that at the time they were taken I thought I was overweight.  Upon looking at them all these years later I realized I was fine -- actually thin.  This mistaken sense of self, along with three sizes of jeans and the number on the scale all mattered too much.

On any given day my happiness was determined by these numbers. When did I give all this power to numbers. Why did I give up my identity to the degree that my weight or size was so important? How did I lose myself. This applies to almost every woman I know. We give up who we are for our families, our jobs, any crisis that comes our way. We may be able to meet all the demands physically, but what happens to our insides -- not our organs per se, but our soul?

We lose that part and it cries out to be nourished in ways that our foreign to our mind. We know we feel empty, so we eat. Then we go on one diet after another. We know fad diets don't work long term. We lose and gain the same weight over and over again. Each attempt increases our stress. Each failure diminishes our self-esteem. Why do we repeat this rollercoaster over and over again? I've come to think that one reason is that we're approaching the problem from the wrong direction. We have the wrong goal. Numbers on a scale or size tags on our clothes are not enough for us to achieve or maintain these numbers. I believe this for one reason: if numbers were satisfaction enough, we'd do it. The one and only thing we can truly control is how much food we put in our mouths. So if numbers are not enough and permanent weight loss is our aim, then what can we do?

To begin with, we must care about self. We must desire a higher energy level. We must relish good muscle mass, healthy bones and proper stature no matter what our size. That's the physical world piece. The next piece is to think about what purpose your body serves. Beyond the obvious, it's YOU. It's who you are to the world. But It also houses your soul and spirit... your essence... YOU. Knowing that, doesn't it seem obvious that to honor you properly you ought to nourish yourself -- your house -- properly?

As a human being of course there are going to be slip-ups. We all need comfort foods occasionally. But the point is to be aware of when we give in. To be alert to the triggers. To be honest about what we are doing. To be responsible for getting back on track.

This means we live our lives in a state of being awake. Not in a fog. Not excusing or blaming. Not in denial. We can attain this by using meditation. If you don't like that word call it mindful relaxation, chosen relaxation -- it's one and the same. The fact is these are the goals and the results of consistent practice of meditation: living awake, alert and aware.

It affects every facet of our life. We can consciously direct where we most focus our attention using these qualities as our needs change. We use our energies to mend what is broken in us. Eventually we will integrate this positive energy until it is a natural state and available to us all the time. Pretty awesome to realize how much we can manage how we feel and act regarding our own life.

This task takes time and commitment to accomplish, but we can do it. Meditation will take you there. Meditation is sitting quietly. Meditation is learning to do nothing and becoming comfortable in nothingness. It requires courage to face the truth that will come to you, strength to seek change, patience to achieve your goals and faith to continue to do the work. All of this will come to you during your meditation in the form of an inner voice or intuitive messages that you will grow to trust. From nothing comes truth. From truth comes courage. From courage comes change. All require faith.